WITHHOLDING TRUTH.

The Only thing more shocking
than the truth are the lies
 people tell to cover it up.

If you were in a state of extreme emotional stress and you had a very limited time frame within which to make a critically important,  highly emotional, completely irreversible,  life-changing decision, and someone intentionally withheld from you a vital piece of information which could significantly alter your decision, what would you call that?

Lying can be defined into two types: White lies and black lies. 

A black lie is a statement we make that we know is false. A white lie is a statement we make that is not in itself false but that leaves out a ‘significant part of the truth. The fact that a lie is white does not in itself make it any less of a lie or any more excusable. Though it may seem less reprehensible, the withholding of essential information is the most common form of lying, and because it may be the more difficult to detect and confront, it is often even more dangerous than black lying.

White lying is considered socially acceptable in many of our relationships because  “we do not want to hurt peoples’ feelings”. Yet we bemoan the fact that our social relationships are generally superficial. Often times parents feed their children with pap of white lies  thus considering as acceptable, loving and beneficent. Even husbands and wives who have been brave enough to be open with  each other often find it difficult to be open with their children. Usually such withholding and lack of openness is rationalized on the basis of a loving desire to protect their children from unnecessary worries. Yet more often than not, such ‘protection’ is unsuccessful.  The result then is not protection but deprivation. The children are deprived of the knowledge they might gain about money, illness, drugs, sex, marriage, their parents, their grandparents and people in general. This may hinder ideal understanding on how to handle issues relating to such matters.

However, the selective withholding of one’s opinions should be practiced from time to  time in the world of business or politics if one is to be welcomed into the council of power. Thus, the expression of opinions, feelings, ideas and even knowledge must be suppressed from time to time in certain circumstances in the course of human affairs.

What rules then can one follow if one is dedicated to the truth?

1. Never speak falsehood.
2. Bear in mind that the act of withholding the truth is always potentially a lie, and that in each instance in which the truth is withheld a significant moral decision is required.
3. The decision to withhold the truth should never be based on personal needs, such as a need for power, a need to be liked or a need to protect one’s ideologies from challenge.
4. Fourth and conversely, the decision to withhold the truth must always be based entirely upon the  needs of the person or people from whom the truth is being withheld.
5. The assessment of another’s need is an act of responsibility which is so complex that it can only be executed wisely when one operates with genuine love for the other.
6. The primary factor in the assessment of another’s needs is the assessment of that person’s capacity to utilize the truth for his or her own spiritual growth. 

Finally, in assessing the capacity of another to utilize the truth for personal spiritual growth, it should be borne in mind that our tendency is generally to underestimate rather than overestimate this capacity. 

Ultimately, it will be discovered that the energy required for self discipline of honesty is far less than the energy for secretiveness. The more honest one is, the easier it is to be continue to be honest, just as the more lies one has told, the more necessary it is to lie again.

By their openness, people dedicated to the truth live in the open, and through the exercise of their courage to live in the open, they become free from fear.  

Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.

“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything".