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| The Only thing more shocking than the truth are the lies people tell to cover it up. |
If you were in a state of extreme emotional
stress and you had a very limited time frame within which to make a critically
important, highly
emotional, completely irreversible, life-changing decision, and someone intentionally withheld from you a vital piece of information which
could significantly alter your decision, what would you call that?
Lying
can be defined into two types: White lies and black lies.
A black lie is a
statement we make that we know is false. A white lie is a statement we make
that is not in itself false but that leaves out a ‘significant part of the
truth. The fact that a lie is white does not in itself make it any less of a
lie or any more excusable. Though
it may seem less reprehensible, the withholding of essential information is the
most common form of lying, and because it may be the more difficult to detect
and confront, it is often even more dangerous than black lying.
White
lying is considered socially acceptable in many of our relationships because “we do not want to hurt peoples’ feelings”. Yet
we bemoan the fact that our social relationships are generally superficial. Often
times parents feed their children with pap of white lies thus considering as acceptable, loving and beneficent.
Even husbands and wives who have been brave enough to be open with each other often find it difficult to be open
with their children. Usually such withholding and lack of openness is rationalized on the basis of a loving desire to protect their children from unnecessary
worries. Yet more often than not, such ‘protection’ is unsuccessful. The result then is not protection but
deprivation. The children are deprived of the knowledge they might gain about
money, illness, drugs, sex, marriage, their parents, their grandparents and
people in general. This may hinder ideal understanding on how to handle issues relating to such matters.
However,
the selective withholding of one’s opinions should be practiced from time
to time in the world of business or
politics if one is to be welcomed into the council of power. Thus, the
expression of opinions, feelings, ideas and even knowledge must be suppressed
from time to time in certain circumstances in the course of human affairs.
What rules then can one
follow if one is dedicated to the truth?
- Never speak falsehood.
- Bear in mind that the act of withholding the truth is always potentially a lie, and that in each instance in which the truth is withheld a significant moral decision is required.
- The decision to withhold the truth should never be based on personal needs, such as a need for power, a need to be liked or a need to protect one’s ideologies from challenge.
- Fourth and conversely, the decision to withhold the truth must always be based entirely upon the needs of the person or people from whom the truth is being withheld.
- The assessment of another’s need is an act of responsibility which is so complex that it can only be executed wisely when one operates with genuine love for the other.
- The primary factor in the assessment of another’s needs is the assessment of that person’s capacity to utilize the truth for his or her own spiritual growth.
Finally, in
assessing the capacity of another to utilize the truth for personal spiritual
growth, it should be borne in mind that our tendency is generally to
underestimate rather than overestimate this capacity.
Ultimately, it will be
discovered that the energy required for self discipline of honesty is far less
than the energy for secretiveness. The more honest one is, the easier it is to
be continue to be honest, just as the more lies one has told, the more
necessary it is to lie again.
By their
openness, people dedicated to the truth live in the open, and through the exercise
of their courage to live in the open, they become free from fear.
“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything".
